


I Should Have Known Better

by LeotheLionathefootofOrion



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Dom Sam, Gabriel is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Past Domestic Violence, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink, Protective Sam, Punishment, Repressed Feelings, Size Kink, Sub Gabriel, a lot of angry crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:14:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8780926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeotheLionathefootofOrion/pseuds/LeotheLionathefootofOrion
Summary: Sam and Gabriel meet by chance in a Fetish Club. The sex is good. Their dynamic catches them both by surprise.Gabriel is convinced that he has nothing to give Sam.Sam is convinced that Gabriel is the solace he has been looking for.Gabriel wants to run.Sam wants to make it work.Both of them just need a bit of love.





	1. An Opening

**Author's Note:**

> Hi people!  
> I've been preparing to write and post this fic for several years and it has become my literal baby. So I'm really excited to hear what you think of it. If you'd like to comment, that would be wonderful!  
> There will be angst. And there will be smut. There will be some crying. So strap in and prepare yourself, I hope you'll enjoy the journey!
> 
> ~Leo x

Sam walks into the club with some trepidation. It isn't exactly the first time he's ever been here, but it's been a while. He shows his ID to the bouncer and is ushered inside, where somebody takes his coat from him. Before he can go through to the main part of the club, they ask him a few questions - mainly trying to establish who he is - what he is - and what he wants. They give him a few grounds rules, and even though he's heard them all before multiple times he listens carefully. And then they give him an approving nod, and he passes through the doors into the inner sanctum.

The main room of the club is large and spacious. There are comfortable armchairs, tables and a small corner of the room which seems to be a designated display area. There are doors leading off to private bedrooms and bathrooms and there's also a bar. Sam heads there first. The club is pretty empty - one couple in the corner and a few people sitting alone. Sam allows himself to glance around casually for a while until his eyes rest on one person and refuse to be dragged away.

He's obviously a sub - he's wearing nothing but a pair of tight golden leather shorts and his eyes are lowered to rest on table. And he's obviously single because he isn't wearing a collar. Sam swallows hard. From what he can see of this man, he's beautiful - golden all over from his soft looking hair to his lightly tanned skin. He's small, too. Sam's type from head to toe.

Sam takes a sip of the beer he's just bought and sits up a little bit straighter. He didn't come here to hook up with a stranger but there's something inside him burning to go over and talk to him.

He hasn’t done this is in so long. When was the last time he tried to pick someone up? God, when was the last time he scened with someone? He can’t even remember. He watches the man for a few more seconds, fiddling with the label on his beer bottle. He doesn’t look up.

Sam takes a deep breath. He’s always nervous when it comes to this sort of thing. It leads to awkward questions. If he had a dollar for every time someone asked him if he was sure he was a dom, he’d be a rich man. He’s perfectly happy to take control once he’s got to know someone, but talking to people for the first time? Not so much.  
He takes another breath. What’s the worst that can happen? He approaches the man’s table and sits down in the chair opposite him, clearing his throat.

“Hi. I’m Sam. I once superglued my brother’s hand to a beer bottle.”  
Shit. That is definitely the worst thing that could have happened. Sam prepares to launch himself out of the club. And possibly into space while he's at it.  
The man looks up at him, headed tilted gently to one side. Sam can see amusement in his eyes and a smile tugging at his lips, and even though he wants to die of embarrassment he still manages to think wow, he’s beautiful.  
The man laughs melodiously. “Hello Sam. My name’s Gabriel. I once locked a goat in my brother’s car.”  
They stare at each other for one long moment, and simultaneously burst into laughter. It earns them a few strange looks from across the club, and when they finally manage to stop Sam’s chest is aching. He gasps in a few lung fulls of air and dries his eyes.  
“Oh god, I’m sorry.” He chuckles. “I haven’t done this for years. I was going for smooth but…”  
Gabriel snickers and shakes his head. “Please don’t apologize. That’s the most I’ve laughed in months.” He grins and leans forward on his elbows. His eyes are honey gold and sparkling in the dim light. “So, I’m guessing you weren’t coming over here just to tell me that little gem of a fact?”  
Sam snorts out another laugh. “Heh, no. I wanted to talk, get to know you. Maybe see if you were interested in scening with me. I promise I’m not always this awkward.”  
Gabriel smiles brightly. “I am. Very interested. I was hoping you’d come over when I first saw you walk through the door. But let’s get to know each other first, eh? Beyond the pranks we’ve played on our respective brothers.”  
Sam grins back at him and nods. “Well, let’s see. My name is Sam Winchester, I’m a criminal lawyer. I live alone and spend most of my free time reading. I volunteer as a dog walker for a local charity. I’m originally from Kansas, but I grew up all over the place, because my dad was a bounty hunter. Your turn.”  
Gabriel whistles softly. “You’ve got me feeling all inadequate. Okay. I’m a pastry chef by day, and an emcee at a strip club by night. I have a dog called Rolo and a sweet tooth a mile wide. My favourite movie is Galaxy Quest and I have an enormous, terrifying family.” He pushes a little curl of blonde hair off his face and smiles.   
Sam raises an eyebrow and grins. “By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Worvan, you shall be avenged?”  
Gabriel breaks into laughter once again. “Oh, I’m definitely keeping you. I have a huge kink for oversized nerds.”   
“Well you’ve come to the right place.” Sam laughs. He watches as Gabriel’s smile turns a little bit wicked as he lifts his arms up and stretches, reminding Sam that he’s pretty much naked. “I sure hope so.” He purrs, looking Sam right in the eye and biting his lip seductively. It should be ridiculous, but somehow, it really isn’t.

Sam swallows and looks Gabriel in the eye. He can feel himself dipping into that hot, sharp state of mind, the one that makes him need to be in control.  
“So now we’ve got the formalities out of the way,” He says softly, leaning forward, “How about you tell me all about what you’re into?” He can see goose-bumps rising on Gabriel’s bare shoulders. He licks his lips and feel Gabriel’s eyes follow the movement of his tongue.  
“Pain is good, especially spanking. So’s breath-play. I like to be praised, but you should punish me if I run my mouth off. I like to be filled and touched. Teasing is good, but not torture. I like following orders, but only if you make me.” His voice is soft and a little uncertain, and Sam catches a hint of nervousness. It’s rather endearing, and he smiles and nods approvingly and watches Gabriel’s eyes flicker with pleasure.  
“Good. Any triggers?” He asks, only half aware that his voice is rougher, deeper.  
Gabriel thinks for a moment. “I don’t like being gagged.” He replies finally. Sam nods. He can see that Gabriel in eager, but he tells himself to slow down. He moves his foot under the table and gently applies pressure against Gabriel’s bare thigh, forcing himself to breathe deeply. He only just met this man, after all.  
“Let’s calm down a little bit.” He says softly. He takes Gabriel’s hand where it lies on the table top, and gently strokes over his knuckles. “Shall we go and sit over there? It’ll be more comfortable.” He asks, pointing to the leather couches in the corner.  
Gabriel’s eyes are getting darker and he’s obviously very interested in what’s about to happen. Sam can’t help but smirk approvingly. They stand up together and Sam gets his first look at the length of Gabriel’s body.

He’s small, but solid. His skin is pale and dusted with light freckles that Sam can barely see from a distance. His shoulders are broad and strong, the muscles tight under his skin. His torso is smooth, his chest full of strength. Sam’s eyes linger on his nipples, loving the way they are peaked and hard under his gaze. His stomach looks delightfully soft. Sam smiles and curls his own arm around Gabriel’s waist, settling down lightly just over the curve of his ass. Said ass is round and perky, hugged tightly by the leather shorts and Sam just can’t help licking his lips.  
They walk towards the couches and Sam sits down, getting comfortable. Gabriel waits patiently until Sam tugs him down into his lap by his wrist. Gabriel lets out a breathless squeak of surprise and tumbles down, eventually rearranging himself comfortably. He’s small enough to curl up in Sam’s lap with his knees drawn up which is absolutely adorable. Sam happily curls his arm securely around Gabriel so he doesn’t slip and nuzzles into his soft golden curls. He smells faintly of wood smoke.   
“Be still for me, okay?” Sam murmurs. Gabriel snuggles closer and then settles down.  
He seems to know that Sam is testing him; seeing how long he can be quiet and patient. He stays mostly still, only twitching when his muscles start to cramp up. He’s obviously hard, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. He’s seems quite content to stay still in Sam’s arms. Sam pets Gabriel’s shoulders gently, slightly in awe of the fact that this beautiful man is trusting him so implicitly. It’s one thing he’ll never get over, no matter how many subs he’s with. It always makes his heart swell.  
After about half an hour, Gabriel shifts slightly so his ass is pressing directly onto Sam’s erection. He whines softly, obviously trying hard to be good and stay still. He wiggles and twitches subtly, and Sam watches with interest, seeing how long it will take him to break. Gabriel turns his head and buries his face in Sam’s chest, making a muffled noise of frustration, but otherwise staying completely still. Sam can’t help but be impressed.

He runs his fingers through Gabriel’s hair and gently tilts his chin up. His golden eyes are dark with lust and he looks just on the edge of desperate. Sam smiles and traces Gabriel’s lips with his thumb, nodding encouragingly when he parts them and takes the digit into his mouth and begins to suckle it lightly. It seems to provide him with some form of relief, as his body relaxes and his muscles unclench.  
After a little while, just as Gabriel looks as though he’s becoming uncomfortable again, Sam removes his thumb from the wet cavern of his mouth. He smiles at Gabriel and leans in, feeling their hot breaths mingle. He tilts his head slightly and kisses Gabriel softly, ignoring the way their noses bump together in favour of tasting him.   
Sam slips both his hands under Gabriel ass and squeezes gently. Gabriel groans responsively and Sam’s tongue slips into his mouth. It’s messy, their lips sliding together with the clumsy art of a first kiss. Sam thinks he could die happy exploring Gabriel’s hot mouth and his sweet, soft body.  
Sam’s never really been one for exhibitionism, but he’s hardly aware of the other people in the club, or the small audience watching them. He moves his hands from Gabriel’s lush ass and grasps both his wrists, bringing them behind his back and holding them tight. Gabriel whines, still pressing sloppy kisses to the corner of Sam’s mouth. He’s obviously far into his headspace and desperate for relief, so Sam pulls back and looks him in the eye.  
“I want you to get yourself off,” He says softly. “No touching yourself. You’re going to get yourself off, just from grinding on me. Okay?”  
Gabriel nods franticly and gets to work, pressing himself forward and rubbing his tightly clothed erection against Sam’s stomach. Sam keeps a tight hold of his wrists, but watches his face for any signs of discomfort. Gabriel is moaning and panting, trying to get the friction he needs. His eyes are alight with lust and sweat is pouring down his forehead, mingling with a few tears. It amazes Sam how wild with pleasure he is. He’s like a live wire under Sam’s hands. They’ve known each other barely an hour and yet here they are…  
Gabriel whimpers loudly, obviously frustrated. The friction just isn’t enough. Sam takes pity and leans forward so his breath ghosts over Gabriel’s ear. It makes him shiver.

“You’ve been so good,” Sam whispers hoarsely. “Such a good boy for me, Gabriel. Doing everything I asked and trying so hard get yourself off like I told you. You’re so close, aren’t you? I bet you’re right on the edge. You just need a little bit of help, huh?” He moves his hand, releasing Gabriel’s wrists, and moves it down to cup his straining, leather clad cock. “Fucking gorgeous like this. So desperate. And so good.”  
Gabriel moans loudly and thrusts forward into Sam’s hand. He hides his face in Sam’s shoulder and whimpers. Sam knows exactly what he needs without having to ask.  
“Cum for me, Gabriel.” He says, his voice a growl. Gabriel lets out a high-pitched sound, shudders, and does exactly as Sam tells him, spilling his load into his tight leather shorts. It’s quite possibly the hottest thing Sam has ever seen.  
Gabriel slumps forward, breathing heavily. He looks up at Sam, his expression a little dazed, and smiles. “Can I help you out?” He says softly, nudging his hand against Sam’s cock. “Don’t wanna leave you high and dry.”

Sam nods and brushes his fingers down Gabriel’s smooth cheek. “Go for it,” He says. He can feel himself slowly retracting from his own headspace. It doesn’t matter though. He gave Gabriel what he needed and that was what mattered.  
Gabriel shifts backwards and makes quick work of Sam’s jeans. He doesn’t bother pushing them down, just fishes out Sam’s aching cock and wraps his small hand around it. He gives an expert handjob, stroking and twisting like a pro until Sam comes apart. Gabriel smiles at him and licks the semen off his hand. The little audience that had gathered around them drifts away and Gabriel rests his head on Sam’s chest, still curled up like a lap dog on his knee. Sam pets his hair, wondering if he should be doing more in the way of aftercare but feeling too sated to move. Gabriel doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, he looks perfectly content. So they stay like that, just breathing together.

It takes a while for Sam to shake himself out of his post-orgasmic bliss. When he does, he finds that Gabriel has in fact dozed off. His mouth is slightly open and his hair is spread out in a halo over Sam’s chest. Sam considers taking a picture, he looks so sweet. He doesn’t though, just gently shakes him awake instead. Gabriel doesn’t take kindly to being disturbed so Sam carries him to the club’s spacious bathroom. Gabriel nestles against his shoulder like he belongs there.  
Sam gets Gabriel out of his shorts and cleans up the sticky mess he finds inside. Gabriel isn’t embarrassed by his nudity. He’s somewhere in the middle of sleeping and waking and he isn’t quite out of his subspace either, so they don’t talk. Sam wraps him in a big soft robe and carries him back out again. He fetches them both a glass of water from the bar and Gabriel drinks obediently. He’s slowly becoming more aware and by the time Sam has fetched Gabriel’s clothes from his locker, he’s almost back to himself.  
Sam watches him dress awkwardly. It's one thing to have almost-sex with someone - but it seems strangely intimate to watch him cover himself up again. Until Gabriel turns and smiles, pressing a kiss to his cheek.  
“Sorry, I’m not much a talker after playing. You wouldn’t think so if you knew me outside of here. I never shut up.” He laughs, so Sam laughs with him. “I had a lot of fun,” Gabriel continues. “I haven’t done this for a while, at least, not with a stranger. But you were really good.”  
Sam blushes. “I didn’t really do much,” He replies.  
Gabriel shakes his head. “You’re a good dom. Don’t put yourself down.” He seems to hesitate, and then fishes a business card out of his pocket. “If you’d like to do that again, give me a call. My mobile number’s on the back.” He hands the card over and Sam takes it.  
“Thank you.” He says softly. “I’ll call you. Will you be okay getting home?”  
Gabriel smiles and nods. “See what I mean? Good dom. I’ll be fine. Text me so I’ve got your number and I’ll text you when I’m home.” He stands on tiptoe and presses another kiss to the corner of Sam’s mouth.  
“See ya.”

Sam watches him leave the club and sits down hard on a bar stool. The bar-keep smiles knowingly at him, but Sam takes no notice as he pulls out his phone, typing in Gabriel’s number and sending off a text:  
Thank you for tonight. Be safe.

  
When he's outside the club, Gabriel leans up against the wall and lets himself breathe. He's a little bit overwhelmed - by the intensity of the sex, by Sam's sweet, caring smile. It's hard to take in.  
He went to the club on a whim. Hadn't been for years and thought, why not. It would be nice to soak up the atmosphere. He hadn't expected to meet someone like Sam and certainly not to have an amazing scene.  
His phone buzzes in his pocket. When he pulls it out and reads the message he finds himself smiling like a sap. It's been a long time since anybody even pretended to care.

His smile drops suddenly and he covers his face in his hands. His throat is tightening and it takes a moment to get himself to breathe steady again. He shoves away an unwanted memory and grounds himself against the rough brick of the wall. Why did he come here? He thinks wildly. What had he been thinking? Why had he told Sam he'd be willing to do that again?

He pushes off the wall and starts to walk home slowly. He only lives a few blocks away but he's dead on his feet from tiredness so it takes a while. As soon as he locks the door of his apartment behind him, he pulls his phone out again and sends Sam a message:  
Thanks for playing with me tonight. I'm home safe and about to hop in the shower.

He sheds his clothes on the way to the shower and steps under the hot spray. In his mind he can feel Sam's big, gentle hands on his skin. He feels marked by them, even as he washes himself. He closes his eyes and breaths in and out and tries not to let himself imagine what would happen if there was a next time.

He drops into bed like a leaden weight and tells himself that he isn't going to call Sam. It was fun but he hasn't got time for a Dom. He won't be going back to that club ever again. That time in his life is well and truly over and done with. He needs to concentrate on fixing the mess that is his life. So he switches off his phone and rolls over on his back, determined not to think about Sam's gentle, gentle smile.

 

 


	2. An Explanation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, I just love causing pain and suffering.

Two weeks have passed and Sam has mostly resigned himself to the fact that Gabriel won't be calling him back. He's disappointed... to say the least. He had been sure there had been something there - a spark between them. Obviously it hadn't been mutual.  
Sam isn't really one for brooding over people. He accepts things as they are and tries not to let them bother him. And yet - he feels as though he's missing something. Which is foolish because he knew Gabriel for only a few hours.

He doesn't go back to the club, and he doesn't try to call or text Gabriel. He stays late at the office and goes out to bars with Dean. He even agrees to go to dinner with Ruby after work for the first time in weeks. He doesn't quite forget Gabriel - he's lingering at the back of his mind at all moments of the day.

There's a nice restaurant not far away from the office and he and Ruby make their way there after work. She's chatty and flirty as usual and Sam tries his best to keep up with her conversation. But his heart and mind are really elsewhere - with golden sparkling eyes and a bright, cheeky smile.

  
Gabriel is carefully chilling his pastry when Benny, the manager of the restaurant where he works, comes running into the kitchen like all hell is on his trail. He grabs Gabriel's arm, panting just a little bit.  
"Gabe, man. I need a favour. Charlie's sick and can't make it to her shift. I need you to get out there and wait some tables until Alfie gets here." He looks at Gabriel pleadingly. "Please, Gabe. I'll pay you double overtime."  
Gabriel sighs and pulls off his unflattering hairnet. He could do with the extra money.  
"Sure, Benny. I'll do it." He grabs Charlie's apron off a hook and ties it on. Benny gives him a grateful slap on the arm and runs off to stress over something else.

Gabriel kind of hates waiting tables, but it'll be worth it for the money - so he gives them service with a smile. It's hideously busy in the restaurant so he barely has time to breathe, except when he manages to slip back into the kitchen and gulp down some water.

He's carrying several plates across the busy room when he catches sight of somebody familiar. The ridiculous height, the floppy brown hair - they've been stuck in Gabriel's mind for two weeks straight so at first he thinks he's imaging it. Except, then he makes eye contact and nearly drops four full plates of food on the floor.

He dumps the plates on the correct table and flees back to the kitchen. He leans against the sink, panting and beginning to feel nauseous. Of all the people in the world who could have walked into the restaurant...  
"Gabriel!" Benny barks at him. "Get back out there! There're seven tables needing their orders!"  
Gabriel groans. He's shivering now - on the edge of the panic attack for some stupid reason. He hates his mind at times like these - when he's fucking terrified. He wants to run away... And maybe explain to Sam on the way out... But instead, he picks up his notebook and pen and leaves the sanctuary of the kitchen to take down more orders.

He approaches Sam's table like he's going to the gallows. There's a woman with him. A beautiful woman. Gabriel keeps his head down.  
"What can I get you?" He asks. His voice is unsteady.

The woman Sam is with makes her order. Gabriel can physically feel Sam's eyes on him and when he peeks up, his eyes widen.  
"Gabriel!" Sam bursts out. "How are you? Are you ok? You didn't call, I, uh. I thought. You might be ill."  
Gabriel nods. "Yep. I'm fine. Um. Been busy." He scribbles down the orders. "Look, um. If you want to talk I'll be outside in an hour."  
He gives Sam a quick, forced smile and flees back to kitchen again.

Why did I do that? He thinks to himself. Why? He's going to want to talk to me. He dodges around the room, serving drinks and taking away plates and generally trying hard to avoid Sam. And when Alfie finally arrives for his shift and Gabriel makes in back to kitchen, he's physically shaking with fear.

Benny is more relaxed, and he notices Gabriel's tight expression.  
"You ok, man? You look awful." He says, sounding concerned. Gabriel shrugs helplessly. Benny's nice - he cares. He knows more about Gabriel than most.

"I dunno. You know how I am with relationships and commitment, right? Well there's a guy out there, we hooked up a few weeks ago and he... he was awesome. Dead sweet and caring. I... didn't call him back, afterwards, and I can't help thinking... What if I'd given him a chance?" He buries his head in his hands and leans closer when Benny gently pats his shoulder.

"Talk to him. That's my advice. You ain't gonna know how you really feel unless you get to know him. If you wanna give him that chance? You go for it. I'll kick his butt if he hurts you."

Gabriel gives Benny a weak but heartfelt smile and picks himself up off the counter. The advice is good and he knows he needs to take it before he chickens out.

  
Sam rounds the corner of the restaurant to get around the back. He's a little bit nervous, although he isn't sure why. Gabriel asked him, didn't he? Ruby had been surprisingly understanding about the whole thing, told him to 'Go get him Tiger'. Sam is beginning to think it won't be that easy.  
But Gabriel is there, leaning up against the brick wall and chewing on his lip. He looks even more worried than Sam feels and he even jumps when he sees Sam.  
"Hey." He says softly. "I'm glad you came. I wanted to, um. Explain?"   
Sam is a little bit confused, now. He can't claim that he even knows Gabriel a little bit, but the contrast with the nervous, jumpy man in front of him, with the confident, sexy guy he'd possibly fallen head over heals for in the club, is scary. Gabriel looks like he thinks Sam is going to hit him.

"You don't have to explain anything." Sam replies, keeping his tone neutral and soft. He leans against the wall about a foot away from Gabriel. Just in case.  
"I want to explain." Gabriel says, shifting from foot to foot. "Look, I... I had the best time I've ever had, with you at the club. You took care of me, you made me feel good, you focused on my needs. No one's ever really done that for me before. And it scared me. It was overwhelming and I just didn't know what to think, because I was feeling things for you and I'd known you less than two hours. And I wanted to do it again, I was aching to call you. But I couldn't do it. Because I was scared of what might happen. That I might ruin it, or do something wrong. And besides that, well, I'd told myself I wasn't going to do anymore of that stuff. I was going to have a normal vanilla relationship. I only went to the club because I was going stir crazy shunting between home and work every day. I feel safe when I'm there."

Sam pushes off the wall and sidles up to Gabriel, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. He wants to make him feel safe, more than anything.  
"It's okay." He says softly. Gabriel's muscles are stiff and tight under his hand. "You were perfectly within your rights not to call me. It's your life, your decisions. If you didn't feel like it? That's fine. I'm glad you had a good time with me, because I did too. I started to feel something for you, Gabriel. I know I don't know you, but I'd like to. I'd like to take you out and take care of you and have more awesome sex. Because there was a spark between us and I'd like there to be more."

Gabriel peeks up at Sam through his lashes. Sam is intrigued by him - he wants to know more. He wants to know this side of him, as well as the one he encountered in the club.

"I'd like that, too." Gabriel says softly. Then he shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I'm not usually like this. Usually, I'm.. a lot more fun to be around. But I'm not very good at relationships. They make me nervous."

Sam smiles. He's no stranger to commitment issues. "We'll take it as slow as you need. I don't want you to be nervous around me. So if you feel uncomfortable - tell me, okay? And I'll back off. You don't owe me anything."

Gabriel smiles. It's a real smile - like the smile Sam saw on that first night in the club when they laughed together. He's relaxed under Sam's hand now, no longer stiff or flinching. Sam smiles back. He can't help it. It's infectious.

Sam offers to walk Gabriel home, and he accepts. The nervousness and fear seems to have dissipated completely - he really doesn't stop talking, or making Sam laugh, all the way home. And on the doorstep, he asks Sam to come in.

They walk in the hall and a small, cannonballish force hits Sam's legs, yapping loudly. It's a tiny dog, at least part Jack Russell, and it seems very happy to see them. Gabriel laughs and picks the dog up gently, petting his head.  
"This is Rolo. He doesn't have any concept of personal space. I picked him up from a shelter a few months ago. He's really very sweet." Sam agrees, as Gabriel puts the dog down and it trots away, apparently satisfied with the greeting.

Then, Sam has a chance to look around. The house is tiny - around the size of the apartment Sam had taken during his very first when he was too poor to get anything else. But it's nice, and warm, and smells vaguely of dog. Gabriel withdraws a bit again as he leads Sam into the lounge - he seems embarrassed by the lack of furniture. But Sam takes it in his stride and sits down on the comfortable couch. He declines the offer of coffee and holds out his arms, waiting for Gabriel to sit down and accept the hug.

Gabriel fits as perfectly in Sam's arms, just as he remembers. And he relaxes completely, bringing his knees up and curling himself up completely against Sam's chest. He nuzzles the side of Sam's neck and allows himself to simply be held.  
Sam has another wave of wonder for this beautiful man, cuddled up on his knee. This is what being a dom is about, he thinks. It's about comfort and love and making somebody else happy.

He strokes his hands over Gabriel's chest with gentle reverence. Gabriel responds with a soft sigh, very nearly purring as Sam drags his hand low to rub gentle circles on his stomach. Gabriel's hair smells good, like shampoo and icing sugar, and it's so soft Sam just can't resist playing with it with his free hand. Gabriel settles more comfortably against his chest, breathing evenly, and he looks calmer than Sam has ever seen him.   
In fact, he pretty much dozes off. His breathing is even and easy, and he's completely relaxed and pliant and Sam's arms. Sam is very happy just to hold him there and watch the peaceful smile on his face.

Time passes far too quickly and before Sam knows it, it's late. He brushes his hand across Gabriel's cheek gently to alert him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head at the same time.  
"I should get going," He murmurs. Gabriel stirs a little bit, letting out a soft whimper as Sam threads his fingers through his hair.

"Was that... it?" Gabriel asks softly. His eyes are still closed and body limp in Sam's arms. Sam hums softly in affirmation. Gabriel's hair is soft and silky under his fingers.  
"But we didn't... have sex. Or anything." Gabriel murmurs back at him. He's obviously confused, brain struggling against the heaviness of his body. Sam sighs softly. He'd expected some confusion.  
"I don't want to have sex. That wasn't the point, sweetheart. The point was to calm us both down. To make us feel good, but not in a sexy way. Don't you feel good right now?" He explains gently. Gabriel nods, curling closer against Sam's chest.

"You do... want me, don't you?" He says quietly. Sam's heart breaks a little bit.  
"Look, I don't know what your experience of relationships has been, but it obviously hasn't been good." Gabriel stiffens slightly but Sam strokes his shoulders to calm him. "I'm not going to ask you. But just listen, ok? For most people, relationships are about more than sex. I want you, Gabriel. I want your body, of course I do. But I want more than that, you see? The same applies for scening. For most doms, BDSM isn't just about sadism. It's not just about putting a sub over your knee and making them cry. It's about taking care of someone and making sure they're ok. It's about loving someone and making them feel good, not bad."

Gabriel nods and curls his fingers in Sam's shirt. "I know that." He mumbles. "I'm just not used to being wanted for more than a random hookup. That's... part of the reason why I didn't call you. I was scared you wouldn't want me."

Sam smiles in spite of himself and buries his face in Gabriel's hair. "Oh, I want you." He promises. Gabriel shivers slightly and Sam is convinced that it's pleasure, not fear, that causes him to do so.

He lets Gabriel cling to him for a while longer, and then gets up despite his complaints.  
"Are you free on Wednesday night?" Sam asks, as Gabriel walks to show him out. "We could go out and have dinner. I'd like to get to know you."  
Gabriel squints at him. "What, like a date?" And Sam smiles.  
"Exactly like a date. I want to wine and dine you. If you're very good, I may even put out."  
Gabriel smirks, obviously delighted by the suggestion. "I can be very, very good." He promises. "Wednesday night. I can do that. Can you pick me up?"

They arrange a time and Sam stoops to kiss the corner of Gabriel's mouth before he leaves. It's like a burden has been lifted from his shoulders. Wednesday can't come too soon.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are like warm hugs and snuggles :3


	3. A date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is a date and some steamy, steamy sex.

Gabriel thinks that if Sam surprises him anymore, he's going to have a heart attack. Nobody has ever treated him half as well as Sam has so far. Gabriel is walking around with permanent anime sparkles in his eyes.

First of all Sam bought him flowers. Gabriel can't remember the last time someone bought him flowers. He almost teared up there and then on his doorstep.  
Then Sam held his hand all the way to the fancy, expensive restaurant that Gabriel would never have dreamed of eating at. He'd chattered all the way there and asked question about Gabriel's week and what his plans were for the next few days.

Now, he's sitting across the table looking at Gabriel like he hung the moon or something. Nobody has ever looked at Gabriel like that before. Never.

"So, tell me all about yourself." Sam says, leaning on his hand and maintaining eye contact. He sounds genuinely interested, which for some reason makes Gabriel want to blush and shrug.  
"I don't know, I'm not very interesting. I don't do anything except work and sleep and watch crap TV." He replies, fiddling with his wine glass. Sam smiles encouragingly.  
"Go on. There's got to be something."  
Gabriel sighs. "Not really. I dropped out of college when I was twenty and went to live with my boyfriend in Norway, then I came back here. I haven't done anything with my life." He says, eyes fixed on the top of the table. Sam makes an interested sort of noise.  
"Sounds pretty cool to me. Do you speak Norwegian, then?"  
Gabriel shakes his head slightly. "Not much. I'm not fluent, anyway. I never had much of an opportunity to learn."  
Something in Gabriel's eyes makes Sam wary of questioning further. He's beginning to look guarded. So he changes the subject and they talk about their shared passion for dogs until the food arrives.

Gabriel opens up more during dessert, speaking fondly about his family. Sam learns that he has three older brothers.  
"Raphael travels a lot. He's a climatologist, and I don't see him much. Lucifer travels too, but he's in America at the moment. I think we're the most alike, everyone says so. And Michael lives here, in the nice end of town. He's the oldest and you'd hardly guess that we're even related. He's got no sense of humour, for a start. We didn't used to get on - we fought a lot. But he looks out for me now." He smiles. But he doesn't mention his parents.

Sam pays their check - he insists, and Gabriel eventually gives in. Sam can be ridiculously stubborn. Then they leave the restaurant, hand in hand again. Gabriel rests his cheek against Sam's shoulder and smiles like he hasn't a care in the world. He looks a little bit nervous when Sam asks him to come back to his apartment for a drink but his says yes and seems to mean it. And when, after one drink, Sam pulls him close and kisses him like he's been craving it for weeks - well, Gabriel has no complaints.

He also has no complaints when Sam pulls him up off the couch and leads him to a very comfortable bed. He wants Sam, he realises. More than he's ever wanted anybody for a long time. He wants to let Sam break him and put him back together again. It's a scary thought, to be honest, but he doesn't let himself think about it because Sam himself is strong and commanding and overwhelming and it's all Gabriel can do to take him in.

Sam slips into dom mode without even thinking about it. Gabriel makes it so easy for him with his lowered eyes and shy glances. Sam wants to take care of him so, so badly. But first, he pulls Gabriel down on his knee and pets him lightly. He wants to do it properly.  
"Are you alright?" He asks first, sliding his fingers through Gabriel's hair. He gets an easy nod in response. "I want you to understand that we don't have to do anything. There's no pressure. If you want to go, or just curl up here and watch a movie, that's fine. And if you want to do other stuff, that's fine too."  
Gabriel laughs softly and nudges his nose against Sam's cheek. "Other stuff sounds good to me." He replies.  
Sam grins and tugs Gabriel's hair gently. "Okay, good. So. Safeword?" He murmurs. Gabriel shuffles and flushes slightly. The air between the two of them is already heating up. "Peppermint." He says quietly. Sam nods and slides his fingers gently over Gabriel's cheek. "Okay, good. I got it. Now, I want you to go over there and take a look in that box. Pick out a couple of things you want to use, and strip off and lie on the bed for me."

Gabriel smiles and complies, riffling through the box with interest. He comes back with three toys - a cock ring, a mediumish sized dildo and a thin leather strap. Sam examines them as Gabriel strips off and lies down, handling the strap with approval. Pleasure and punishment are very different things, even within BDSM - Sam doesn't mind using toys when it's for fun, but when a sub's been bad, or needs a firm touch, prefers to use his own hand.

He approaches Gabriel and slides a hand down his spine. Gabriel shivers and rolls over without being told to let Sam slip the ring carefully onto his already interested cock. His eyes flutter shut and he lets Sam manhandle him over onto his knees. He looks good there, all pale and exposed. Sam wants to cover him up with his own body. But that will come later. They must both be patient.

Sam picks up a tube of lube and drizzles it liberally in between the cheeks of Gabriel's ass. The cold shocks a gasp out of him and he whimpers very quietly. Sam grins wickedly and trails the tip of the dildo through the sticky lubricant. Gabriel's jaw clenches perceptibly, obviously trying to control the sounds he wants to make. Sam drops the dildo and picks the strap up instead.  
"It's okay, baby. Let me hear you. Let me hear all those pretty noises." He murmurs, sliding the leather down Gabriel's spine slower until it reaches his now wet hole. Gabriel sucks in a deep breath and his hips spasm lightly. Sam trails the strap over Gabriel's lower back and watches him shiver.  
"How many do you think I should give you?" He asks. "Ten? Twenty?"  
"H-However many you think I need." Gabriel responds promptly. Sam is impressed. He's never had such a compliant, obedient sub before.  
"Good boy. Let's see how you're doing when we get to fifteen." Sam decides. Almost immediately he brings the strap down hard on the crest of Gabriel's ass, making him cry out quietly. He doesn't make Gabriel count - he doesn't approve of that even during punishment. Instead he simply rains down the blows and lets Gabriel soak them up.

When he's done, Gabriel is sobbing. His eyes are cloudy like he's not all there, and Sam knees next to him and cups his cheek. He's worried for a moment that he's gone too far, but Gabriel gives him a vacant, watery smile and valiantly tries to sit up.  
Sam stops him with a hand on his upper back.  
"Shh, sweetheart. Stay right there. You've been so good. So good for me, princess. You want to cum, don't you? Yeah, I know. You deserve it." Sam croons, stroking a hand down Gabriel's spine. He flinches a little when Sam's fingers brush over the red welts the strap has left behind, but otherwise he is perfectly still.

Sam picks up the dildo and covers it with the remaining lube from the bottle. Gabriel lets out a punched sound of relief when Sam slides it in oh so slowly. He writhes a little on the bed, clawing at the sheet. Sam imagines Gabriel's cock, hard and blurting out precum onto the bed, and pushes the dildo in further.  
"P-Please, uh, please." Gabriel gasps. His hips are making frantic circles and Sam can see the muscles of his back clenching up. "I need to cum, please, let me?"

Sam doesn't even know how to refuse a request like that. He jams the dildo up against Gabriel's prostate and reaches around to unclip the cock ring.  
"You can cum. That's my good boy. Go on, cum for me."  
And Gabriel doesn't have to be told twice. He cums like a fucking freight train, all whimpers and arching body. Then he collapses against the sheets with a strained groan.

Sam is all over him in a moment. He gently manoeuvres Gabriel out of the wet spot and cleans him up with some convenient wet wipes. All the time, he whispers little nothings to him, telling him how good and perfect he was. He doesn't even think about the erection that's trying to drill a hole in his jeans (although, when he's made Gabriel a little more comfortable, he jerks off as quickly as he can in the bathroom).

Gabriel doesn't come to for a while and when he does, he's sleepy and clingy. Sam rubs cooling cream into the sore spots on his ass and strokes his hair.  
"You doing alright? It wasn't to much for you?" He asks. Gabriel tucks his head under Sam's chin.  
"It was fantastic. Best ever." He yawns and is quiet for a moment, then makes an effort to sit up. "Do you need me to go? If you've got work in the morning...?"  
Sam gives him a stern look. "You're not going anywhere, mister. I haven't had my quota of cuddle time out of you yet."   
Gabriel's face lights up in a sleepy grin. "I'm am pretty fucking good at cuddling." He mumbles, as Sam pulls up the covers and rubs a soothing hand over Gabriel's stomach. If he wasn't so sleepy, he'd be wondering how on earth he got so lucky.

And the next morning, Gabriel is there in his bed. He's snoring softly and clinging to Sam like a warm, golden octopus. Sam grins and kisses his forehead. It's still early, too early to think about waking up. He's contented to doze and revel Gabriel's wonderful company (even sleeping he's absolutely fascinating).

Sam isn't expecting any visitors. It's way too early for that anyway. So when someone starts banging on his door down at 7am, he's tempted to ignore it. But the banging continues and Sam is a little afraid that it'll wake Gabriel up. So he pulls on a sweatshirt and struggles down the hall.

He blinks into the morning light and finds himself face to face with a very angry stranger in a suit. Sam's about to ask what the racket's about, but the stranger grabs his shirt and pulls him forward before he can even open his mouth.

 

"What the hell have you done with my brother?"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye, a cliffhanger. What a surprise!  
> Stick a comment in that big ol box.


	4. A Climax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:  
> This chapter contains graphic descriptions of domestic abuse as well as references to the contemplation of suicide. If you feel like this will trigger you any way, please don't read this chapter. I will be more than happy to provide you with a summary if you ask in the comments.  
> Look after yourselves <3

"What have you done with my brother?!"

Before Sam can even think of a response to that question, he's being shoved aside. The stranger strides right in like he owns the place, looking into each room. Sam is about to ask what the hell he thinks he's doing, but he's interrupted.

Gabriel is standing in the doorway of his bedroom. He's wearing one of Sam's shirts and it almost meets his knees. If the situation was a little different, Sam would pick him up and carry him right back to bed, he looks so cute.  
Gabriel yawns, and rubs his eyes, blinking at the stranger.  
"Michael, what the hell are you doing here?" He sighs, sounding weary and irritated. Something clicks in Sam's possibly still sleep addled brain. The stranger is Gabriel's oldest brother.

Michael holds Gabriel at arms length, checking him over with a tight lipped frown. "I was worried about you. You didn't call last night so I went around to your place, but you weren't there."  
Gabriel sighs and shrugs Michael's hands off his shoulders. "Yeah, because I was here. Sorry I didn't call, I was busy." He frowns. "How did you know I was here?"

Michael has the good grace to look embarrassed. "I tracked your phone."  
Gabriel rolls his eyes. "You're going to give yourself a heart attack, Mike. You need to calm down." He pats Michael's arm consolingly. "I appreciate your concern, but I am an adult, you know. Speaking of which."

He turns to Sam. "Sorry about this, Sam. This is Michael, my oldest asshole. I mean, brother."

Sam and Michael shake hands awkwardly and mumble "Nice to meet you" in an embarrassed sort of way. Michael leaves soon after that, and Gabriel promises to call him when he gets home. When Michael is gone, Gabriel looks smaller than ever. He seems to be drowning in Sam's shirt, eyes cast downwards and mouth a thin line of worry. Sam is a little unsure of how to react.

Gabriel leans on the kitchen counter, looking down. His shoulders are shaking almost imperceptibly. When Sam reaches out for him, he flinches away. He looks angry, for some reason - Sam doesn't know how to ask. His knuckles are clenched, white, painful to look at. Sam decides to wait him out.

"I fucking hate this." Gabriel bites out, eventually. He looks like he wants to punch something. "This isn't - me. This." He waves a hand in the vague direction of himself, "This, being fucking scared shitless all the time. Feeling like I want to fucking cry. It's not me. It's not- who I am."   
His shoulders sag and tears splash on the countertop. Sam touches his back lightly.  
"I wasn't always like this." Gabriel continues. "And Michael wasn't always so... So fucking paranoid. We were normal, for fuck's sake."

"Okay." Sam says softly. He puts his hands on Gabriel's waist and spins him around gently. "I believe you. But now isn't the time for talking about it. Right now, you need a bath, and a hug, and you need to calm down. Trust me."

Gabriel doesn't fight him. He allows himself to be lead to the bathroom and held gently while to warm water runs. But then, when Sam nudges him over to the bath, he seems to take against the idea.  
"Get in, sweetheart." Sam says softly, even as Gabriel folds his arms and glares.

"Regardless of what Michael's stupid pantomime might've made you think, I'm not a child. I don't need a - fucking bubble bath." He spits out. He won't meet Sam's eye.  
"Get in." Sam repeats, a little firmer. But Gabriel only seems to dig his heels in.  
Sam wants to grind his teeth and maybe shake Gabriel a little bit. Instead, he calmly starts to strip him down (he doesn't struggle) and looks him in the eye.  
"I know you're not a child. But I'm going to have to treat you one if you don't cooperate, alright? You need to trust me, sugar. I want to help you calm down."

Gabriel is stubbornly silent, but he gets into the bath without further argument. Sam climbs in behind him moments later and holds him there. Gabriel is still shaking a little, trembling all over. His eyes are clenched tight stuck and he looks almost numb.  
Eventually, Gabriel whimpers quietly and leans his head back against Sam's chest and whispers "sorry" in such a fragile voice, Sam wants to cry.  
"It's okay." He responds gently. "It's okay."

Gabriel is very quiet for a long time. The water is almost cold by the time he speaks again but Sam doesn't mind. He'll wait an eternity for Gabriel, he thinks.  
When Gabriel does speak, it all comes out at once.

"So, I feel like you've probably guessed this by now, because you're perceptive and stupidly smart. But I'm gonna say it anyway because I think we need to talk about this before I- tie you down or whatever. I mean, I want you to know what you're getting into because I'm- not exactly easy. I'm rambling now so I'm just gonna come out and say it but, ugh. Yeah. Okay. I was... abused."

Sam squeezes Gabriel a little bit tighter. "I suspected." He says very quietly. Gabriel looks down into the bubbly water.

"It was the boyfriend I mentioned earlier. The one I moved to Norway with. I, uh, I was kinda a troubled kid. I mean, my parents weren't around and Mike tried his best but he was too young to go through that. I was bad at school and I got into trouble. I didn't want to go away to college - didn't think I'd get in anywhere. But Michael managed it somehow and he made me go, he thought it would be good for me.

"I didn't go to classes. I got drunk and went to parties instead. And I was... bored. Really bored. I had a friend, and he look me along to a BDSM party, and that was where I met Baldur. He was much older than me, and I was flattered by his interest, and before long we were sleeping together. He'd buy me expensive presents and take me to dinner in fancy restaurants. And he made me his sub. I didn't know anything about BDSM but I know now, he was a very bad Dom. He didn't do aftercare and I had some really bad sub drops. But I didn't care because... I guess I was in love with him.

"I cut myself off from my family. I was angry and I wanted to punish them for making me do something I didn't want to do. And then, Baldur asked if I would go to Norway with him. I said yes straight away. I thought we'd be living in some gorgeous modern penthouse in a big city. I couldn't have been more wrong.

"It was literally a log cabin. In the middle of nowhere. No phone signal, no TV, no internet. Nothing. Just me and him. And he was always away during the day. I was completely isolated, and well... I nearly went crazy. It was like a horror story.  
I guess that was when the abuse really started. He started ignoring my safe word. He'd slap me around outside of the bedroom and say he was just 'showing me my place'. He called me names and shit like that, made me feel like I was nothing. It was... really really awful. I was almost suicidal by the end. I was seriously considering it.

"But I couldn't let him win. I saw him for what he was and I knew that I couldn't let him have power over me. So I ran. I took all the cash I could find, I took his car. I took a plane back to America. All the time I was looking over my shoulder, expecting him to be there. But he wasn't. I got to the US. And I called Michael. He picked me up and took me home and never once said a word against me for going off with saying a word.

"I was- still am- badly damaged by what happened. I couldn't even leave Michael's house for a long time. My anxiety was... huge. Constant. Overpowering. I had terrible, crippling nightmares and I felt like Baldur was always behind me, breathing down my neck. Michael tried to help me as best he could. He found me a therapist - Kali. It's down to both of them that I'm sitting here now.

"Obviously I still struggle- oh my God, Sam, are you crying. Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" He struggles to turn around in the water. Sam is indeed crying, and Gabriel throws his arms around his neck. "I'm okay now Sam, I am. It's okay, please don't cry," He whispers. Anything to make Sam stop.

Sam wipes his eyes. "Sorry." He whispers. "I just... couldn't help it. Jesus Christ, Gabe. You've been through all that and you're... still here. Here with me. I-I can't believe it." He kisses Gabriel's forehead. "You are so brave. So brave, my love. I am so in awe of you."

Gabriel smiles and puts his hands on Sam's cheeks. "I wanted you to know. Before you commit. I know I've got a lot of baggage - I'm not easy and I never will be. So I understand if you want to change your mind-"  
Sam cuts him off before he can go further. "Gabriel, sweetheart. If anything, what you've just told me has convinced me that I want to stay. If I even needed convincing. Because you? You're a superhero, Gabriel. And I would give anything to show you that you are worth every second of my time."

Gabriel looks down at his lap. "I'm not, though." He's says quietly. "Think about how much pain I've caused my family, by running away and by coming back. You saw Michael, didn't you? Well, before I fucked up, he wasn't like that. He was Mr. Cool and Confident. And now he's a nervous wreck. Because of me."

Sam slowly runs his hand over Gabriel's arm. "It's not your fault, Gabe. You made a mistake, yeah. But you were so young. And you are in no way responsible for what that man did to you. He was abusive, and I think that it's incredible that you've bounced back, and you're sitting here right now."

Gabriel shrugs, but he's smiling a little too. "Kali says that all the time. She's convinced that if I let go of my guilt, I'll be able to move on properly."  
"Well, take it from me, if not from her." Sam replies, and kisses Gabriel softly.

They go back to bed after that. Gabriel is mentally and physically exhausted and Sam just needs to hold him for a while and think.  
He decides to take the day off work. He wants to be with Gabriel. So later, when they're both awake, they pick Gabriel's dog up from his neighbour and take him for a walk in the nearby park. There's something so simply domestic and right about it, Sam gets the feeling that he won't be parting from Gabriel for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do comment if you enjoyed it.


	5. A gift.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretentious and unbetaed so prepare yourselves for that.

"Why is it that everybody you seem to know is looking for an excuse to kill me?" Sam asks, looping his arm around Gabriel's waist. They're on their way to the club together, after work. Gabriel grins and butts his head against Sam's shoulder.  
"I mean, when I met Michael for the second time, he was really polite. But when you left the room he looked right into my eyes and said: "If you hurt so much as a hair on my brother's head, I'll make sure you suffer for the rest of you life." So that was pretty terrifying." Gabriel giggles into Sam's shoulder.

"And then Lucifer," Sam shivers, "Lucifer is freaky! He threatened me with grievous bodily harm and then he smiled!"   
Gabriel laughs (he can't help it). "Sounds a lot like Lucifer. He's just messing with you, don't worry."  
Sam shrugs. "It was still pretty disconcerting. And that's not all! Benny! He looks like such teddybear! But, no. He said "If you do anything to hurt Gabe, I'll make sure you never do anything ever again.""  
Gabriel raises his eyebrows. "Wow. Benny's usually pretty chill. How about Kali?"  
Sam shudders. "I think Kali was the worst, to be honest. She's really scary. She didn't exactly say anything, you know? She just, looked like she wanted to kill me."

Gabriel chuckles softly as they enter the club together. "I did try to tell them not to scare you off. Guess they just didn't listen."  
"Sounds like it. I don't mind though. It's good to know that people care about you." Sam responds, smiling affectionately. "You get changed, and I'll see you out there, alright?"  
Gabriel nods and kisses Sam's cheek, before strolling off to the lockers where he deposits his clothes.

Sam walks through the club's main room and picks out a comfortable armchair. He removes the soft, velvety cushion and places it on the floor, then sits down, ready to relax. He pulls a small packet out of his pocket and puts it on the table. It's a small gift for Gabriel, one that Sam is a little nervous about giving him. He and Gabriel have been 'together' for around four weeks, and Sam feels like it's the right time to take their relationship to the next level. He just isn't sure that Gabriel feels the same.  
He keeps calm, though. And when Gabriel comes in, looking absolutely delectable in his new leather shorts, he pretty much forgets all about that.  
Gabriel smiles placidly and drops to his knees on the cushion, without needing to be told. Sam smiles and scratches his fingers over his scalp as a little reward. Gabriel leans his head up against Sam's knee.  
Sam lets him sit quietly for a while, stroking Gabriel's hair and tugging lightly. Gabriel purrs. It's absolutely adorable.

Eventually, Sam tugs Gabriel's head up gently to get his attention.  
"I've got a little gift for you, because you've been such a good boy over the past few weeks." He says, in his low, gentle Dom voice. Gabriel visibly preens and pushes his head against Sam's hand, making him chuckle.  
"Close you eyes." Sam orders, and Gabriel obeys immediately. Sam removes his gift from the package.

It's a collar. Brown, tanned leather to match Gabriel's eyes, and threes silver D rings. Sam hesitates a moment, then places it on Gabriel's lap.  
"You can open your eyes, sugar." He says.  
Gabriel looks down at the gift and a smile lights up his face. He strokes the leather of the collar reverently.   
"It's beautiful." He whispers, in awe. "Th-Thank you. I-I love it. Could you put it on for me?"  
Sam nods, and unbuckles the collar. It fits perfectly - nice and tight - around Gabriel's slim neck. His eyes slip closed and he lets out a little happy sigh. He leans his head against Sam's knee, looking completely blissful.

Sam can't help feeling intensely proud. He somehow feels closer to Gabriel - more like Gabriel is his. He slips his fingers under the collar and keeps them there, and lets himself preen.

Gabriel stays absolutely still for several long minutes, even though he wants to climb right up into Sam's lap (and maybe get Sam to fuck him really hard with his fingers looped through the rings of the collar). He's good, though, as always, until Sam tugs on the colour.

"Come on, baby. Up you come. I want to see that collar around your pretty neck."  
Gabriel scrambles up happily, straddling Sam's thighs. He focuses his gaze on Sam's chest and exposes his neck. Sam hums appreciatively.  
"Don't you look lovely?" He says gently. "So fucking pretty wearing my collar. You know what would make you even prettier, though?" He leans forward. "My marks on your neck, showing everyone that you're mine. My lovely, perfect little princess."

Gabriel whines happily and angles his neck.  
"Yes, yes please. Mark me." He whispers.  
Sam smirks and leans forward, mouthing over Gabriel's pulse point. He lets his teeth drag over the tender skin, and listens to Gabriel whimper. His skin is smooth, tastes like salt and clean water. Sam sucks it, laves his tongue over it and finally bites, hard. Gabriel's back arches and he moans out loud. Sam's teeth nearly break his skin.  
By the time he's finished, Gabriel's neck is covered in purplish bruises and the indents of Sam's teeth. Gabriel is quivering, whimpering on Sam's lap, half hard and clinging to his shoulders. Sam wraps a hand, gentle but firm, around his throat.

"You look so beautiful." Sam says, huskily. Gabriel's eyes flutter open. His pupils are big and round. He looks so vulnerable, needy. Pleasure curls in Sam's chest and simmers there.

Sam picks Gabriel up easily and carries him over to one of the display tables, further away from prying eyes. There are cuffs attached to it, so Sam buckles Gabriel's wrists in loosely. He strokes his hand through Gabriel's hair, looking at him spread out so nicely.  
"Is this okay?" He says softly. Gabriel hums and nods.  
"Perfect. Want you, Sam. Please." He mumbles. "Anything."  
Sam leans down and kisses him tenderly. "You're so good, angel. So perfect. Such a good, sweet boy. Gonna give you what you need."

Something inside Sam burns to take care of Gabriel. To make him feel good, to look after him and make sure he never gets hurt again. To make up for everything in the past. The way Gabriel looks at him, the desperate, gentle trust in his eyes. Sometimes it's more than Sam can take, but sometimes... sometimes it makes Sam love even more than usual.

He slides his hands up Gabriel's body, simply touching him. Gabriel loves to be touched. He's sensitive almost everywhere.  
"Do you think you could hold on for me? Stop yourself from coming at all tonight?" Sam asks, merely out of interest. He's learned that Gabriel will do pretty much anything to please him, even if he doesn't enjoy it. Sam doesn't want that, though. He wants to give Gabriel exactly what he wants. He's being trying to get Gabriel to articulate and ask for the things that he enjoys. And to say no to the things he doesn't.

Gabriel hums softly, considering Sam's words. He's half way into the loose, dreaminess of subspace, which makes things a little bit more difficult to process. He knows he wants to cum, with Sam's hands all over him. But at the same time, he wants to please Sam. And if holding off his orgasm would do that...  
"You're thinking too hard." Sam says, jolting him with a little slap. "If you have to think about it that hard then you obviously don't want it." There's another slap, gentle, but still a reprimand. "What have I told you, hm? If you don't want it, you tell me. Straight off. No problem."

Gabriel whimpers and nods, and Sam's hand is soothing again.  
"I-I want to cum tonight, please." He says. Sam makes an approving noise.  
"Good boy. You can cum tonight, I promise." Satisfied, he goes back to simply touching Gabriel, exploring his body one inch at a time.

Sam leans down and kisses over Gabriel's chest. Gabriel is responsive, leaning into it, keening softly and sweetly. Sam smiles and lets his mouth wander around, ghosting up to his collar bones and laving at his nipples. They're peaked and sensitive and Gabriel always seems to enjoy it when Sam pays them special attention.

Sam feels infinitely relaxed as he takes the extended tour of Gabriel's body. He doesn't have to think about anything at all, except for the beautiful man lying under him. By the time he's dragging his finger nails down Gabriel's thighs and leaving little finger shaped bruises, his mind is quite empty, aside from the feelings of love and pleasure that are pulsing all around him.

He shakes himself out of his little daze to take a good look at Gabriel. His eyes have the dazed, dreamy quality that show he's drifted off to wherever he goes when they play. And his body is limp, soft and malleable. Sam smiles fondly and cups his cheek.  
"Hey, sweetheart. You doing alright?" He asks. Gabriel's eyelids flutter and he nods slowly. Sam strokes his hair. "You think you're ready to cum?" He says, slipping his fingers under the collar.

Gabriel arches his body and whimpers as the collar is tugged tight over his windpipe. Sam's learned that he likes to be choked, a little. It adds a nice little pepper of pain to the pleasure. Sam releases the collar and Gabriel moans, low and guttural. "Yeah, wanna cum." He mumbles. "Please."

"Alright baby, I think you earned it." Sam agrees. He moves, and places his hand over the bulge in Gabriel's shorts. He likes to make Gabriel cum in his clothes. It reminds him of their first time together.

Gabriel unwinds like a tightly coiled spring; violently and all at once. It's explosive and wonderful all at once, the way he goes off like a reactor in Sam's hands. He shudders his way through after shocks and lies there, gasping, like he's run a mile.  
It's beautiful to watch, Sam thinks, not for the last time. His hands tighten on Gabriel's new collar and he is flooded, once again, with pride and pleasure and love.

Sam releases the cuffs and lets Gabriel sit up on the table. He's perfectly dazed, but he's coherent enough to help Sam get off. He hates leaving Sam hanging - bitches about it for days if it ever happens. He wants things to be reciprocal. He's wants to take care of Sam, too. He deserves it.

Gabriel is sleepy and clingy, and he won't let Sam take his collar off when he strips him off and cleans him in the club's bathroom. Sam doesn't exactly mind.  
Gabriel's neck is riddled with bruises and hickeys and Sam makes a point of kissing every single one. By that time (it takes a while) Gabriel is more coherent. He kisses Sam deeply up against the counter of the bar, outside in the club, on the street, everywhere. He looks blissfully happy, Sam thinks. It's a good look on him. His eyes light up like up a couple of stars.  
Sam drives Gabriel home. They take off his collar together, and Gabriel puts it away safely for next time. They kiss again, by the fridge in Gabriel's kitchen. Sam is aching to say something but he doesn't - he's not sure why. He tells himself it's because he's tired. But it's more than that. He's scared, he realises. He scared of telling Gabriel that he loves him. Because what if Gabriel doesn't feel the same?

Sam hates having to say goodbye to Gabriel. He feels as though he's losing a part of himself. He knows he's being silly, and that he probably isn't quite out of his headspace (he always feels a bit weird after a scene) yet but even so... it hurts. However, they're both working the next day. So he kisses Gabriel farewell just once more, as lovingly as he can, on the doorstep.

And all he thinks about, as he drives off into the night, is the next time he'll see his angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do comment!


	6. A Fight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know I said it would be fluff here on in?
> 
> I lied.
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> (&I'm sorry for any errors as weil)

They've being dating for six months when they fight properly for the first time. It's nobody's fault, not really. And it's been brewing in the air for a few weeks when it all comes spilling to the surface.

Sam hasn't seen Gabriel for nearly a week. They were supposed to meet up for dinner and a movie, but Gabriel cancelled at the last minute because he'd picked up another shift at work. Sam hadn't been angry, exactly. Just a little disappointed. He likes - loves - spending time with Gabriel. And it almost feels as though they're drifting apart.

Gabriel slumps down opposite Sam in the diner booth, rubbing at his eyes and yawning.  
"Sorry I'm late." He mumbles. "I had a late night."  
Sam takes his hand across the table and smiles, although it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "No problem. Were you working last night?"  
Gabriel looks down at their joined fingers. "Yeah. I managed to get a few extra hours in at the club."  
"You're working too much." Sam sighs. "I don't want to be an asshole about it but, I hardly see you. And when I do, you're dead beat."  
Gabriel's shoulders slump. "I know, I'm sorry. I just... Have a lot of bills to pay at the moment. We can't all be fancy highly paid lawyers, ya know. If I'm gonna move out of the dump I live in at the moment, I need money."  
Sam sighs and lets go of Gabriel's hand. "I wish you'd let me help you out. Or Michael, even. We'd be more than happy to give you a loan-"  
"No, Sam." Gabriel cuts him off snappishly. "We've talked about this."  
"Have we, though?" Sam replies, his patience tested. "I seem to remember offering you a loan, and you biting my head off and accusing me of trying to give you charity!"

"I don't need your money, Sam! Your support would be more than enough!" Gabriel hisses back at him.  
"Well, maybe if you put me, and our relationship first, instead of working yourself to the bone 24/7 and cancelling whenever we have plans, I might be able to support you better!" Sam growls. He regrets it almost the minute it comes out of his mouth.

Gabriel's eyes well up with hurt and his face, usually so expressive, hardens completely. "If that's the way you feel, maybe we should call it a day." He says stiffly. "Go find someone who can give you their complete and undivided attention. I'm obviously not enough for you." He says quietly. He stands up, and before Sam can say a word, he's out of the diner and halfway down the high street.

Gabriel feels bad for walking out. After all, Sam is somewhat justified in his anger. Gabriel has been spending a lot of time working. And he probably has been neglecting Sam.  
But it's for a good reason. The bills don't pay themselves, and Gabriel frankly refuses to live out of Michael's pocket any more than he already has. He just wants to be treated like an adult, instead of a child.  
It's not just the bills. He's been taking night classes, too, and they cost a fair amount. Gabriel doesn't want to work two jobs for the rest of his life. He doesn't want to be stupid. He wants to get somewhere, even if it's just an office. And for that, he needs qualifications.  
He hasn't told Sam - although he probably should. In truth, he feels self conscious about the whole thing. He doesn't want Sam to laugh at him.  
He's only too aware that Sam doesn't need yet another reason to leave him.

He walks home slowly and goes back to bed, even though it's only 11am. He has a shift at the restaurant later and he doesn't want to be dead on his feet. And it's not like he has much to stay awake for, anyway.  
He lies in bed with Rolo and stares up at the ceiling, wishing that he was better. Because Sam deserves better. And realistically, Gabriel is never going to be enough.

 

Sam sits alone in the diner for a very long time, wondering how on earth he managed to fuck up so badly. He feels awful. He's done something that told himself he never would - he's made Gabriel feel bad about himself.  
This whole stupid mess isn't Gabriel's fault. Sam knows that - knows he's being a complete idiot. But he can't help it. Gabriel is quite happy to wear Sam's collar, to spend the night in is bed, and hold his hand on the street. But every time he's asked Gabriel if he wants to their relationship to the next step - every time he's asked if Gabriel will move in with him - Gabriel has made an excuse, or just point blank said no.  
Sam knows it's a lot of commitment. He understands. But he can't help thinking, if he and Gabriel want different things, is there any point in continuing their relationship?

Sam loves Gabriel. He's sure of that, if nothing else. Whether or not Gabriel loves Sam, seems to be another matter entirely.

But he's worth fighting for. He might say no, he doesn't want anything else to do with Sam, that's it. But he might not. He might be feeling just as bad as Sam. He might want to talk about. He might even want to fix it.

Sam stands up and makes his way slowly door the street, in the direction Gabriel went. Talking to Gabriel is the only way he's going to find out if they're at the end of the line.

 

Gabriel cries himself to sleep - although he doesn't exactly mean to. He doesn't usually like to cry over things that he can't fix. He wants to be with Sam but he doesn't know if he can bring himself to go back. He sleeps for three hours and the tears dry out on his face and on the pillow.

He wakes up to a knock on the door, and Rolo's barking. He whines quietly and pulls the pillow down over his head. He doesn't want to get up.  
The knocking continues, though. And it doesn't sound as if it's going to go away.  
He drags himself upright. He looks a mess, all shadowing eyes and tear stains. He swipes at his face and slouches down the hall.

Sam is on the other side of the door. He's holding a little goody bag of fudge.  
"Hey, Gabe." He says quietly. He looks contrite and worried. "I wanted to, um. Apologise. For earlier. What I said was unpleasant and wrong and I fucked up. I put pressure on you and made you feel bad and that was honestly the opposite of what I intended. I want you in my life, Gabriel. That's all."

Gabriel sighs. "You had better come in then, hadn't you?" He looks tired, and unhappy. Sam's heart wobbles a little as the door swings wider for him to step through. He smiles weakly, but gratefully and steps in after Gabriel. They sit down at both ends of the couch with the dog in between them. The silence is deafening.

"Look, Sam." Gabriel says eventually. "We were both in the wrong. You put pressure on me, sure. But I haven't been communicating with you properly. I've been putting off talking to you about stuff." He looks down at his feet. "If we're going to make this work then we need to talk."

"Yeah." Sam agrees. "Yeah. I know. I'm sorry, for being an asshole about it though. It was unnecessary."

Gabriel huffs out a breath of air. "Okay. Look, Sam. I... I love being with you, you know? When we're together, it's great. But, I need my independence. I need to know that I'm running my own show and that you're not... controlling me. I know you're not but, inside... I just need to feel like I have some level of control. That's why I don't want to move in with you. Because you've got your highly paid job, and you'll be paying the bills. It won't matter whether I have a job or not. I'll be basically obsolete."

"Gabriel." Sam says, very gently. "I don't want you to move in with me because I pity you, or because I think you can't manage one your own. I want you to move in with me because I'm in love with you, and I want to see you and wake up with you in my arms every day."

Gabriel scuffs his foot against the carpet. "I know. I know. I want that too, just... not yet."

"I understand." Sam replies, easily. "I know you need to do your own thing and have your own life. But I want to be part of your life too. I get that your work is important, but, please. Let me see more of you? Even if it's just to fall asleep together. I don't care if you're exhausted. Just being with you is enough."

"Is it?" Gabriel asks quietly. "Sam, you're a brilliant, handsome, intelligent person. You could have anybody. Why're you bothering with me? I'm poor and stupid and weak. I'm taking Night classes, for fucks sake. Nobody takes Night classes unless they're some sort of idiot."

"You're not an idiot." Sam sighs. "You had a ridiculously hard time when you were younger. None of it was your fault. And the fact that you're taking Night classes - that's good! That's wonderful. Because it means you're fighting back. It means that you're not giving in."

Gabriel's shoulders slump and he looks defeated. "I just want to be good enough for you, Sam. Because I love you, and you deserve so much."

Sam shuffles down the couch and drapes an arm around Gabriel's shoulder. "I love you too, sweetheart. I love you so much. I'm sorry about earlier, I was a complete ass. You deserve so much too, and I'm doing a terrible job of being a good boyfriend. Forgive me?"

Gabriel smiles and snuggles up to Sam's chest. "There's nothing to forgive Sammy. You were right, really. I have been neglecting you." He looks up at Sam with wide eyes. "I could make it up to you now, if you want me to."

Sam smiles and cups Gabriel's cheek gently with his hand. There is so much love it Gabriel's eyes, Sam just knows that they're going to be alright.  
"I think I'd like that, baby." He murmurs, leaning in to kiss Gabriel. They smile against each other's mouths.

Sam's hand curls up comfortably in Gabriel's soft hair and he enjoys the simple pleasure of kissing the man he loves. He hopes that one day, Gabriel will be able to let go of the hurt from his past. He's willing to wait, though. Because Gabriel is worth waiting for. However long it takes. And one day, when things are a little bit smoother, Sam will be able to wake up next to Gabriel, and kiss him whenever he wants. And perhaps Gabriel will realise that he is worth even more than his weight in gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make my life worth living


	7. A close.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The very last chapter. It's all good, don't worry.

Gabriel comes into the bedroom, still wet from the shower. There's a towel wrapped around his waist and little rivulets of water are dripping down his chest. From where he's lying on the bed Sam has an excellent view, and he doesn't bother dragging his gaze away. Gabriel is just too good not to stare at.

He drops the towel in the middle on the floor and his eyes crinkle up at the edges when he smiles. He approaches the bed and climbs up. Sam spreads his legs to make room for him.

Gabriel's hands slide up and down Sam's arms and he hums softly. Cradled in the cocoon of Sam's body, he feels safe and content. Sam's fingers are rubbing damp circles into his thighs. He lets his head drop back against Sam's chest and closes his eyes. Sam kisses his wet hair.

The warmth of Sam - his skin, his words - does something to Gabriel's heart. He's soothing, comforting. It's far too easy to just let go and fall. Gabriel's beginning to let himself, these days. It's getting easier. He can't bring himself to care.

"I've been thinking..." Gabriel says lazily, and Sam snorts derisively. Gabriel hits him, not particularly hard because he actually enjoys Sam's sense of humour. Sam chuckles, a low rumble in his chest, and kisses the shell of his ear.

"I've been thinking," Gabriel repeats, this time seriously. "That maybe I wouldn't mind if you asked me to move in again."  
Sam draws a breath and squeezes Gabriel gently. "Really?" He whispers, and Gabriel nods, once.

"I might even say yes." He finds himself saying, half laughing. He turns around between Sam's legs. His eyes are wide and full, so he kisses Sam quickly.  
"Gabriel..." Sam murmurs against his lips. "Move in with me? Please?" He spreads one huge hand over Gabriel's back, pulling him closer, and Gabriel whimpers.

"Yes. Fuck yes." He groans into Sam's mouth. He tightens his hands on Sam's shoulders, pushing closer. And Sam pulls back to cup his cheeks. His eyes are shining.

"I love you."   
"I love you too."

Sam's hands slide over Gabriel's back, tracing out his spine. He leans in and kisses the purple shadow of a bite on his neck, and Gabriel shivers in his arms.   
"Collar?" Gabriel breathes out. He arches his neck a little bit, as though he's showing Sam where he wants to be bitten and claimed. Sam nuzzles up to his pulse point and growls softly.  
"Collar." He agrees. His hands roam down to Gabriel's ass, cupping and squeezing hard and making him moan. He drags his teeth down over his neck towards his collar bone, nibbling at the sensitive skin.

He reaches out to the bedside table and drags out Gabriel's collar. The leather is soft with use now, and slips easily around his neck. He pulls it tight and Gabriel's eyes slide close. His back arches when Sam's fingers glide over his shoulder blades.  
"Good boy." Sam hums against his skin. "You are so, so good Gabriel." He chuckles softly, as Gabriel moves his hands up to cover his pinkly flushed face.

"Such a pretty blush, pet. Come on, move your hands. Let me see your pretty face." Sam whispers. He presses his mouth slowly along Gabriel's jaw. He likes it when he can make Gabriel blush and squirm and try to hide away.

Sam slides his fingers slowly over Gabriel's taint. Gabriel shivers and shudders like a leaf in the wind. And he practically melts when Sam's long, calloused fingers brush against his hole.  
Sam's fingers are thick, like the rest of him. They catch on Gabriel's rim and make him groan with not-quite-pain. He's loose and even a little sloppy from the night before, but not loose enough. Sam's pulls his finger out.

"Suck." He demands, pressing three fingers into Gabriel's mouth. He does as he's told with enthusiasm. He likes to have something in his mouth and Sam knows it.  
He gets the fingers slick and wet with saliva, and all too soon Sam is tugging them away. Gabriel whines a little, although he doesn't quite mean it. He wants them in his ass too much to complain properly.

Sam chooses to ignore Gabriel's little whine of displeasure in favour of plunging one finger straight into Gabriel, jamming right up against his prostate. Gabriel howls in pleasure and surprise, back arching and face clenched up with overwhelming pleasure. Sam chuckles, and begins to slide a second finger in, too.

Gabriel is a wreck by the time Sam has finished fingering him. His breaths come out hard and sloppy and all his weight rests against Sam. He desperately wants to be fucked properly, to feel Sam stretching and pulsing inside of him. He wants to be filled up, body and soul.

Sam obliges him.

He repositions so that Gabriel is underneath him, pinned to the mattress. Gabriel babbles unintelligibly and Sam soothes him gently, hands stroking through his messy hair and mouth kissing him all over. He's beautiful like that, spread out and ready to be fucked. It drives Sam crazy.

He slides in, all in one go, and bottoms out. Underneath him, Gabriel whimpers, and his hips spasm automatically. Sam growls, low in his throat, and Gabriel is completely still. He knows who's running the show.

Slowing, almost agonisingly slowly, Sam starts to pull out again. He goes right to the tip and pauses, watching Gabriel face contort with pleasure.  
"Beg." Sam says quietly. Gabriel whimpers softly.  
"P-Pl-Pleeease." He manages. Sam doesn't move. "Plea-se. Fuck me. F-Fuck me hard a-and make me scream. W-Want you to fuck me and fill me up."

Sam smiles proudly and kisses Gabriel sloppily by way of a reward. "Good boy. My good, obedient boy. Gonna make you feel real good now baby."  
Gabriel whimpers, happily this time, and spreads his legs just a little bit wider.

Sam doesn't have the restraint to hold off any longer. He slams into Gabriel's body as hard as he dares. Gabriel arches his back of the bed and moans, long and loud. Sam pulls back and thrusts in again, and again. He hardly hears Gabriel's pleasured noises from under him. He's completely lost.

He cums hard, filling Gabriel up just like he wanted. Gabriel's eyes flutter closed. He's still hard, hasn't come without Sam's permission - his heart swells with pride.  
He doesn't pull out, yet, but reaches a hard between their bodies and strokes Gabriel. With a happy, breathy little moan, Gabriel spills over into Sam's hand. Sam smiles at the pretty sight.

"Alright, sugar?" He says, when he's coherent. Gabriel nods lazily. He's blissed out, curled up against Sam.  
"Don't pull out." He mumbles, fumbling for Sam's hand and taking it. "Want to feel you. Want to feel you here with me."

Sam smiles into Gabriel's fluffy, sweaty hair. "I'll always be here, Gabriel." He promises. "As long as you want me."

And he means it, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy endings are important. We all deserve them.
> 
> Do leave a comment if you enjoyed this story. Feedback is incredibly important!


End file.
